WARNING: The following piece while mostly true is purely for entertainment purposes (and I make no guarantees.) It has absolutely no relevance to your health or fitness. It is purely a rant and has no real redeeming qualities. It is not for the faint of heart- you have been warned.
This last weekend I turned 36. Time to take stock in my life and reflect on what I have blah blah blah. I got plenty and I'm doing just fine, that's not what this is about.
For a mini celebration my wife and I (no kids) took a weekend cruise to Mexico. The cruise left out of Long Beach, Ca. which is about 40 mins away from where we live so we did not have to worry about airfare or any of that. You might recall that we all went to Hawaii last month to celebrate our 10 year anniversary. As I said then, then irony of that trip is that I did not spend any real time with my wife since the kids were with us. The irony of this trip was that I spent much of my time missing my kids. I can't win.
Saying goodbye to the kids as we sail out of Long Beach
All in all the weekend was great- weather was nice, Ensenada was Ensenada and I ate my bodyweight in food daily. We bought a fair amount of crap at the open air market. If you have not been to Mexico you might not know that everything is VERY cheap - in every sense of the word. But you can still get some cool stuff. We bought some silver wedding ring replacements (ones we can wear to the gym etc.) and we bought the kids some toys like Mexican jumping beans (yes, they are real).
About every 100 feet or so there is a Mexican pharmacy. Pharmacies are the Starbucks of Mexico - at least in the tourist towns. The rules down there are quite different, they sell everything from Viagra to Oxycontin over the counter. They also sell steroids.
I actually took this picture
Fast forward to the conclusion of the weekend... We packed our stuff and headed off the ship. My compliments to Carnival Cruise who made debarkation a relatively painless endeavor. Once back on US land we waited in a short line at US Customs. Within moments we were standing in front of the Customs Agent.
"Are you carrying any fruits or vegetables with you?" He asked looking over our passports.
"Nope." we said.
"Welcome back to the US." he said as he handed back our passports.
Welcome back? That's it? WTF? Fruits and vegetables? Are you f'ing kidding me? Did he even look at me? I'm 6'2" (almost) and 250 lbs of rock hard muscle baby! These guns are 19 inches. Where the hell is my interrogation? Where is my cavity search? What is wrong with my cavities?
Me with the Customs Agent (ok, not really)
He should not be asking me IF I am smuggling steroids- he should be asking me HOW MUCH I am smuggling. I tell you it was absolutely infuriating. 15+ years of busting my ass in the gym and not so much as a double take. How rude.
All those vials of steroids hidden in my rectum for nothing. I could have just put them in my suitcase.
"Welcome back to the US" - f*** you.
Joshua Carter
The Body Transformation Expert
Carter Fitness
http://carterfitness.com
818-337-6175
PS: To be clear, that part about the steroids in my rectum was a joke. I made Denyse to do it.
No comments:
Post a Comment